The biggest challenge for me so far is Breastfeeding.. I wrote a couple of times before that i am determined and BF my baby.. Well it just comes to show that things don't go as we planned.. Right after giving birth, they gave Nadia to me to feed which i did and try to do so throughout day 1. I asked the nurses in the ward if there is any milk and they confidently say to me 'ada tu eh' and at one point i did ask another nurse if i can pump just so i can see if there is any milk but she says no.
Throughout day 1, Dia was in and out of sleep and when family came to visit me they said maybe Dia is hungry.. So i took out the pump and my suspicion was indeed correct.. I am not producing enough milk for Dia.. I felt like i have Failed.. despite the fact that i drank lots of Milo and took the fenugreek pills.. Apparently This hardly happen to mothers and most of them produce milk like immediately.. Some even produce even before baby arrives! So can u imagine how i felt? I felt like such a bad mother!!!
I was crying inside cos other than feeling like a failure, i hate to think of what will happen to Dia if she doesn't get enough milk. Jaundice being one of the possible things that can happen to her. Anjai's cousin was kind enough to go home and lend us her baby's bottle, thermos and formula.. Although formula was not an option for me before this but i have to do what's best for Dia..
I made a promise to myself that evening, while looking at Dia sleeping that i will do EVERYTHING in my power to produce milk.. With tears in my eyes, i prayed a silent prayer and hoped for the best.
The moment we got home on Saturday morning, i drank up on Milo, Milk for breastfeeding mothers, Milk Maid Tea, took the fenugreek pills, ate veggies that my mum says can help to produce milk, massage with hot towels and even put Cabbage leaves on my boobs (as recommended by one of my aunt).. I also continued to pump..
Syukur Alhamdulilah, its been 8 days and my milk production has shown very good progress.. I started with being able to only pump 1oz on Day 4 and now able to pump up to 6oz! Syukur Alhamdulilah.. Dia can now drink milk direct from its factory without being angry cos there is not enough milk and is now able to phase out formula.. Syukur akhamdulilah.. Mudahan it will continue to increase production.. Amin amin!
Other than BF, my next challenge is giving Dia a bath!!! I know most people say she is loud like me but my My MY! I get really scareddd.. So i get my mum or my 2 SILs to help me with this.. Thats another challenge that i have yet to overcome but will do so insyallah.. Sabar.. *tee hee*
With that i have to say i am very very thankful for having a great support system around me.. Not only my immediate family but also cousins who go through the extra mile to help us.. Anjai's cousin and wife being one very close example and one that i will remember the rest of my life..
P.S. Please excuse my emotional post.. A lot has happened for the past week and i am just emotional.. Can i still blame it on hormones kah? hahaha
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